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Entries in humour (6)

Sunday
Aug082010

Sunday cartoon

I don’t know how I missed Odd Fish, but I saw this posted in our lab the other day (click the first panel for the rest).  I’ll be adding that to my RSS aggregator in 3… 2… 1…

 

Monday
Aug022010

Illustrated humour device succinctly encapsulates the dysfunctional paradigm of science communication

If you don't subscribe to Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, its well worth it.  Today they tackle jargon (click for the rest) 

Monday
Jun142010

Best. Torch job.  Ever.

I've been humming and hawing about whether or not to post this, but I just can't resist.  A colleague at a university where I used to work recently retired, and the dean sent around invitations to his retirement luncheon.  Well, it seems our retiree was not leaving with the best taste in his mouth, so he sent the following (to the Entire School!).  Since he seems to care little who knows, I share it with you here in the hopes that you may enjoy it.  (I have removed the names to protect the innocent, and the guilty)

“Dear [Current dean] ,

I do not know how to tell you this, but my heart is not in this retirement celebration shindig. I will not be there at the lunch that you are planning for me. I hate [distinguished professor]. I hate [former dean]. I hate the entire Mechanical Engineering Department. I hate the way you all treated me over the past 43 years. I think that it is disgraceful that you are asking people to pay for their own wretched lunches to come to honour me. How uncivilized can it be? After all the millions of dollars I brought into this univesity [sic], can't it afford to pay for a lousy luncheon in my honour? I never got a proper promotion or a meaningful raise in salary while inferiour individiouls [sic] got promoted and bloated into disproportionate levels [sic]. I got a copy of the latest [University] magazine. According to it, the average salary (9-10 month) of a full professor at [University] is 125,000 dollars. Mine isn't even 100,000! Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My linternational [sic] famous laboratory (see your own write up) was invaded and destroyed by in January 2007 and I was put out of scientific research for good in order to take care of a newly brought assistant professor. I say, the hell with you all. I hope the [University] stink will not stay on my skin when I leave here and go happily to Hawaii.


With nothing good to say about any of you at all, I remain

[Disgruntled retiree]"

Monday
Jun072010

There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea

With a tip of the Pirates Hat to Veggie Tales and Family Guy for the inspiration

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole in the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole, there's a hole,
There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a pipe, there's a pipe,
There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's some oil in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's some oil in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's some oil, there's some oil,
There's some oil in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's a hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole, another hole,
There's a hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's a cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a cone, an inverted cone,
There's a cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,

There's a leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a leak, ANOTHER leak,
There's a leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,

So NOW,

There's a plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a plume, a killer plume
There's a plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's a boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a boom, a floating boom
There's a boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's a gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a gap, just check a map!
There's a gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There's a bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There's a bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a bird, a struggling bird
There's a bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

There’s a company responsible for the bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a company responsible for the bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea,
There’s a company, a Big Oil company
There’s a company responsible for the bird in the gap in the boom on the plume from the leak in the cone over the hole in the pipe with the oil in the hole
In the bottom of the sea.

...and we should never let up on them until they clean up the mess...

Sunday
Apr252010

XKCD gets me

If you guys don't subscribe to xkcd.com, you really should; the cartoons are simple, pithy and often extremely creative.  Not always laugh out loud funny, but neither was George Carlin, and he was a comedic genius.  I especially like this one; it captures that out-of-sight, out-of-mind thing that infects so many folks when it comes to the oceans.  Of course, now that I've analysed it, its lost all chance of being funny.  Especially with that post-script, bringing your attention to that  fact. And now that last sentence.  And that one.              and that one....

Friday
Mar262010

Funny scientific names - Abra cadabra

I started my career in taxonomy.  Its a serious business, the naming of new species, and you're not supposed to make light or fun out of an animal (or plant) name.  After all, they are stuck with it for all time.  Nonetheless, people can't help themselves and from time to time, you get some real crackers!  A fella by the name of Arnold Menke at USDA put together a list of them, so did Doug Yanega.  Here's some of my favourites.  Which do you like best?

Agra vation (a beetle)
Colon rectum (another beetle)
Ba humbugi (a snail)
Aha ha ( a wasp)
Lalapa lusa (a wasp)
Leonardo davinci (a moth)
Abra cadabra (a clam)
Gelae baen, Gelae belae, Gelae donut, Gelae fish, and Gelae rol (all types of fungus beetles)
Villa manillae, Pieza kake and Reissa roni  (bee flies)
Ytu brutus (a beetle)

and my personal favourite (whenever possible):
La cerveza (a moth)

I'll drink to that - here's cheers to creative taxonomists!